Well-known blowhard Jay Mariotti, who makes his living on ESPN’s "Around the Horn," returns to sportswriting today with a column on AOL Sports. In his first post, the former Chicago Sun-Times columnist explains his decision to depart the dying newspaper business last summer, when his editors allegedly asked him to file two stories about Michael Phelps — one of him winning a race, one of his losing:

"Both would be filed long before the event, which, in some quarters, would be considered an editorial directive to cook up fiction.

I would insert blanks for the finishing times, which a copy editor would fill in, and the bulk would be a lot of jibber-jabber that worked regardless of the result. The editors would decide which column ran based on the outcome. In other words, processed lunch meat for your 50 cents — and it wasn’t the first time. I usually just dealt with these hideous requests. This time, I balked."

Mariotti goes on at length — to talk about himself, even citing a survey that had him as the 14th-most Most Controversial Sports Figure in 2008. Mind you, I’ve never read a thing that Jay Mariotti has ever written — until now. Why? Because he wrote for a dying medium (newspapers) in a city I don’t visit (Chicago). Will I read him now? Remains to be seen. Welcome to the Interwebs, Jay. Now go get your shinebox!