Ten dollars to anyone who can explain this commercial to me. I’m dying for it to make sense. But as it stands now, this is how I see it:

A man wants a Miller Lite, and is told that there are no Miller Lite’s left.

He has two options:

1. Become insanely cynical. Assume that this is some sort of test, and that unless he chooses to die rather than drink another beer (while he’s at a bar… watching a game) he will infringe on some sort of weird code set forth by the guy from Scrubs.

or

2. Ask for another light beer. Not a Bud Light, not a Coors Light, but just any light beer, and do so in the most solemn of ways. In a manner that suggests, "Wow, the fact that you are all out of Miller Lite makes me want to cut myself with a broken bottle, but I guess while I’m here I’ll sip on some piss beer to help pass the time.

Clearly. No. 2 is the choice. Cynicism like Option 1 goes against every single tenant that makes the male species what we are today. Wah, your favorite beer isn’t there, what, are you supposed to get all dramatic? Hell no. You’re supposed to say "Eff it. Let’s get even more drunk and beligerent on Bud Light." You aren’t supposed to worry about the beer. You’re suppose to worry about the game… and then use the beer to make yourself feel better about whatever happens.

So why is he busted? Should he remain sober, just because the Miller Lite people haven’t kept the bar sufficiently in stock? How are you gambling on your beer taste when you’ve been made to feel like your first choice is unavailable? When the Patriots aren’t on, I watch the Giants. Does that make me less of a Pats fan? (No, it just means I’m playing against Eli Manning in fantasy that week.) This commercial is insane. Oh, and wait, now they magically DO have Miller Lite (as well as a Miller Lite podium)?Dude, I just came to the bar to drink a beer, why are you messing with my mind? Isn’t it enough that of all the crappy light beers in the world, I asked for yours first? What is it that you exactly want me from? To piss me off? Because if you wanted to piss me off, then Mission Accomplished, Tom Cruise.

Again, $10. Somebody help.