Wicked Good Sports is reporting that WEEI.com has already reported that Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia will suit up for the Stars and Stripes in the World Baseball Classic this March, thus securing Team USA’s first ever win at the international tournament.

"You know, I figured, what the hell?" said Pedroia. "It’s like, Rookie of the Year and World Series one year, Silver Slugger, Gold Glove and MVP another. Why not grab a WBC title in the offseason? It feels great to hoist another trophy. I look forward to doing it again next November!"

One reporter questioned whether he’d be named the WBC MVP, to which Pedroia answered with another question: "What the f@#! do you think?"

Team USA manager Davey Johnson couldn’t have been more ecstatic. "You know it all started when A-Rod decided to play for the Dominican Republic," he said, still wet from the Gatorade shower he’d just given himself. "You see that, and you’re like, ‘OK, so the Dominicans are out. Maybe we have a chance here…’ So we reached out to Dustin and the rest history. We did it baby! USA! USA! Yes We Can! Yes We Can!"

When asked about the future of his WBC career, the MVP wouldn’t make any promises: "I don’t know, man. I think we’ll just have to wait and see what happens. Now that I can cross "world domination" off my to-do list, I might be on to bigger and better by the time this thing rolls around again."

The press conference abruptly ended with Pedroia calling all the reporters "little bitches" and then scampering off in hysterical laughter.