With Jason Varitek presently mired in one of the most offensive (and at same time, least offensive) seasons in Red Sox history, we thought we’d look back at five other former lessons in ineptitude. The one twist is that these guys can’t have failed and then found themselves out of the line-up. They were awful, but (like ‘Tek) just wouldn’t go away.

1994: Marion Butts, RB, Patriots

You ever see a rugby scrum—one of those plays where both team meet in the middle of the field and push each other back and forth until someone picks up the ball? I swear that’s what it looked like every time Marion Butts touched the ball in 1994. But instead of someone eventually emerging from the pack, Marion would merely collapse after a yard or two, waddle pack to the sidelines and scarf down the three chicken parm calzones he’d kept hidden in his equipment bag. Butts carried the ball 243 times that year, but no Patriots running back since 1986 (with a minimum of 100 carries) has averaged fewer yards an attempt than Butts’ 2.9 (Even Terry Allen averaged 3.5!). Despite their lack of a running game, the Pats still made the playoffs in 94, thanks in large part to one of my favorite plays in franchise history (that sadly doesn’t exist on youtube).

1995-97: Eric Montross, C, Celtics Montross doesn’t necessarily get the nod here for one dismal year. It’s more for his body of work. During the ‘95 and ‘96 Celtics seasons, his first (and thank God only) two years in Boston, the Montrossity started 134 of the 139 games he played. This is even funnier when you consider that over that two-year span, the big fella also started more games than anyone on the team. Man, I miss M.L. Carr. With a flat top so cool it’d freeze your finger tips on contact, Montross averaged nearly eight points and six boards a game, yet those mediocre numbers fail to truly represent the mediocrity of his skills.

While his performance in Boston hardly impressed local fans, it apparently caught someone’s eye over at the Starting Lineup factory. But then again….

Note: Even crazier than this is the fact that during the 1996-97 season (after the C’s traded him to Dallas), Montross played for both the Nets and Mavericks, and still managed to start 77 games.

1998: Chris Canty, CB, Patriots

The numbers can’t justify how horrendous Chris Canty was. I’m having trouble finding the word to express as well. In fact, I think this picture’s all I got. You’ve never seen an NFL cornerback with less of a clue. He was out of New England by 1999; out of the NFL by 2001; and now plays in the Arena Football minor leagues. I wish I was making this up.

2002: Uncle Frank Castillo, SP, Red Sox

Frank Castillo made 36 appearances for the Sox in 2002 (23 as a starter), and they went a little something like this:

Record: 6-15
ERA: 5.07
Innings: 163.3
Hits: 174
WHIP: 1.42

After a while, the Sox pulled Castillo from the rotation, but that still didn’t stop them from using him repeatedly out of the bullpen. Between June 19-September 29, Frankie lost 10 straight decisions, and while he did earn a win on the season’s final day, it was only because he blew a save, and, not surprisingly, the Sox were already out of the playoff picture.

2005: Edgar Renteria, SS, Red Sox / 2007: Julio Lugo, SS, Red Sox

These guys are sharing this space because I’ve been going back and forth for the last 15 minutes and honestly can’t decide who was worse. On one hand, Lugo only hit .238, but then again Renteria had 30 errors (30 errors!). Despite his struggles, Lugo maintained a relatively arrogant and equally unlikable attitude, yet by August, Edgar constantly looked like he was about to cry. On the "good" side, Lugo stole an impressive 33 bases and hit .350 in the World Series, while Renteria scored 100 runs and eventually got his average up to a respectable .275. I’m not sure which direction to go. I’m firmly on the fence. It’s a wash.

Note: If we were running one final tie-breaker on this question of futility, I’d settle it with this question: If 2005 Edgar Renteria and 2007 Julio Lugo were both standing on the ledge of a building, and I had to push one off to save humanity, who would it be? But that question’s a little too harsh to answer publicly, so we’ll just leave it as a tie.

Note: I’d probably push Lugo.