How Doc Rivers’ postgame press conference would have gone last night, had I been in attendance:

SOME REPORTER: So, Doc, can you touch on the decision to only play Rajon Rondo 26 minutes in tonight’s game?

RIVERS: There will be nights when Rondo is not making shots or not making plays. On those nights you are hoping somebody else can pick you up. When he struggles like that, and the way Kevin struggled, that’s taking two of your five starters out of your lineup.

RICH LEVINE: Doc, at what point, in your mind, will Rondo have earned the right to have a bad stretch without being banished to the bench? I mean, no matter how great a player is, he’s going to have a tough spell or two, and when that happens the coach must weigh his options. He’s got to say to himself, "OK, this guy is clearly in a little funk, but considering his body of work, shouldn’t I just give him a second to break out?" Is Rondo really not there for you yet? The kid’s being talked about as a potential All-Star, why do you insist on treating him like Tony Allen?

RIVERS: Excuse me, do I know you? How did you get in here?

LEVINE: It doesn’t matter how I got in here, but building off that first question: Let’s say that Rondo is in a little funk. If there was one team in the entire NBA against which he’d be most likely to work himself out of said funk, wouldn’t it be the Knicks? How do you take your best open court player out of a game that will played predominantly in the open court? And don’t give me that crap about him being shut down by Jared Jeffries. That tactic only comes into play in the half court set, where Rondo’s already the fourth option. Last night’s game was not going to be won in the half court.

RIVERS: Um, I think we’re going to have to ask you to leave.

LEVINE: Fine, then I’m going to ask you to leave, but first explain what you meant by "not making plays." I’d understand if you just said Rondo was slightly off his game, but "not making plays" is inaccurate. He had two first quarter assists before being taken out, but after watching the quarter again, there were three other instances where Rondo set his teammates up for WIDE open shots—two Ray threes and a Big Baby baseline jumper—only to see the ball clank off the rim. If anyone can understand that that shouldn’t fall on the point guard, I think it’s you. 

RIVERS: You disgust me.

LEVINE: Fair enough, but last question: Regardless of my own opinions, you are the coach and what you say goes. But if what you saying is true, that Rondo was struggling and not making plays, then why even put him back in with three minutes left and the game still very much in reach? In what way does Rondo improve your chances of coming back with three minutes left, but decrease them with seven left?

(Rivers gets up, slams mic and leaves)

(Fellow reporters bombard me with insults and half eaten donuts)