If you missed Part 1, go have yourself a little read, but then come back for a quick look at the Celtics schedule, a quicker look a the rest of the league, and finally some predictions. Again, we’re all about 18 here. 

The 18 Most Important Games of the Season

(In chronological order)

1. Oct. 28: Cleveland

Why? Rings, banners and Brons.

NBA 2k9 Simulated Score: Celtics 125, Cavs 110

2. Nov. 4: @ Houston

Why? Tru Warriors, finger wags and the first big test out West

Random Note: There’s no trip through the dreaded—or if you’re the Celtics, not so dreaded—Texas Triangle this year. The C’s don’t even play the Spurs and Mavericks back-to-back. I think I might miss it a little.

Simulated Score: Rockets 120, Celtics 104

3. Nov. 9: @ Detroit

Why? Renewed rivalries and weird white spots

Simulated Score: Celtics 95, Pistons 86

4. Nov. 23: @ Toronto

Why? Canadian craziness plus Jermaine and Chris,

Simulated Score: Raptors 114, Celtics 97

5. Nov. 28: Philadelphia

Why? Elton’s in the East

Random Note: It’s a lot more fun referring to him as "Sir" Elton John while he’s playing the piano in a Donald Duck costume.

Simulated Score: Celtics 125, 76ers 99

6. Dec. 1: Orlando

Why? Superman Returns and Reddick performs.

Simulated Score: Magic 103, Celtics 94

7. Dec. 12: New Orleans

Why? CP3 and the one and only Big Game James

Simulated Score: Celtics 118, Hornets 91

Random Note: Where does Posey’s return ranks in the annals of Boston sports? I say somewhere in Johnny Damon territory. Not quite Vinatieri or Pedro but certainly cooler than, say, Millar.

8. Dec. 25: @ LA Lakers

Why? Christmas with Kobe.

Simulated Score: Celtics 117, Lakers 116

9. Jan. 9: @ Cleveland

Why? Because every look at LeBron will help later on.

Simulated Score: Cavs 119, Celtics 117

10. Jan. 19: Phoenix

Why? The Shaq Farewell Tour?

Simulated Score: Suns 129, Celtics 115

Random Note: The odds of Shaq actually being healthy enough to play this far into the season? 6 to 1.

11. Feb. 3: @ Philadelphia

Why? One-year anniversary of our Super Bowl nightmare, must find diversions.

Simulated Score: Celtics 96, 76ers 89

12. Feb. 5: LA Lakers

Why? Kobe gets his first taste of Tommy—Hey, Kobe… Tell us how his ass tastes!*

Simulated Score: Celtics 122, Lakers 115

*not really.

13. Feb. 12: @ Dallas

Why? Last one before the break.

Simulated Score: Mavericks 131, Celtics 99

14. Feb. 25: @ LA Clippers

Why? The end of a vicious road trip and the last game all season west of San Antonio.

Simulated Score: Celtics 120, Clippers 108 

15. March 1: Detroit

Why? The final of four against the Bad Boys.  

Simulate Score: Pistons 109, Celtics 7

Random Note: I hate that the Celtics and Pistons play four times this season—it should always be an odd number. The third game against Detroit was the most intense game of the regular season last year. There was so much on the line. There needs to be a regular season winner. I’m not sure why, but it’s a necessity.

16. Mar. 20: @ San Antonio

Why? The King of Flop and the Big Fundamental

Simulated Score: Celtics 127, Spurs 99

17. Mar. 25: @ Orlando

Why? Last date with Dwight—for now.

Simulated Score: Celtics 122, Magic 103

18. April 14: @ Philadelphia

Why? Final real test before the second season.

Simulated Score: 76ers 102, Celtics 93

The 18-Game Stretch That Will Define The Season

The Dates: Jan. 30 - March 11

The Games

7 at home: Minnesota, LA Lakers, San Antonio, Indiana, Detroit, Cleveland and Orlando.

The All-Star break is in there somewhere to break things up a little, but you’ve got to be kidding me! Any trip out west will create problems, but when the trip is sandwiched between five legitimate Eastern Conference showdowns… It’s downright lethal!

What’s the real life equivalent of an NBA West coast road trip? Maybe a holiday season where you’re forced to spend both Thanksgiving and Christmas with your in-laws?

P.S. Seven of these 18 games are on national TV.

The First 18 Picks of My Celtic Season Ticket Draft

My buddy Chip and I split season tickets, and our other friend Jonny lightens the load by grabbing 10 games each year. Yesterday afternoon, we drafted our games and if you’re interested—and I suppose even if you’re not—here’s how it went down. Also, Opening Night wasn’t included.

1. Feb. 5 vs. Lakers
2. Dec. 12 vs. Hornets
3. Nov. 20 vs Pistons
4. Oct. 31 vs Bulls
5. March 1 vs. Pistons
6. March 6 vs. Cavs
7. Dec. 5 vs. Blazers
8. Jan. 7 vs. Rockets
9. Dec. 1 vs. Magic
10 Jan. 19 vs Suns
11. Dec. 23 vs. 76ers
12. Feb. 8 vs. Spurs
13. Dec. 15 vs. Jazz
14. Nov. 14 vs. Nuggets
15. Nov. 12 vs. Hawks
16. Jan. 25 vs. Mavericks
17. Dec. 19 vs. Bulls
18. March 18 vs. Miami

The 18 Best Players in the NBA

This isn’t based on fantasy stats or position, and is assuming that guys like Manu, Gilbert and Moped Monta would be at 100%. Basically, If I were drafting a team from the current NBA crop, this is the order I’d select them.

1. LeBron James
2. Kobe Bryant
3. Marvin Williams (Just kidding, Hawks fans… Chris Paul)
4. Kevin Garnett
5. Dwyane Wade
6. Amare Stoudemire
7. Dirk Nowitzki
8. Tim Duncan
9. Dwight Howard
10. Paul Pierce
11. Carmelo Anthony
12. Tracy McGrady
13. Yao Ming
14. Allen Iverson
15. Manu Ginobili
16. Marvin Williams (Ah, got you again, Atlanta… Deron Williams)
17. Steve Nash
18. Chris Bosh

The Next 18

19. Carlos Boozer
20. Baron Davis
21. Joe Johnson
22. Brandon Roy
23. Gilbert Arenas
24. Elton Brand
25. Caron Butler
26. Andre Iguodala
27. Shawn Marion
28. Chauncy Billups
29. Monta Ellis
30. Ray Allen
31. Richard Hamilton
32. Ron Artest
33. Al Jefferson
34, Rasheed Walace
35. Pau Gasol
36. Kevin Durant

Nine Guys on the Rise/Nine Guys Falling Fast

The Rise…

1. Chris Bosh—from star to superstar.
2. Rodney Stuckey—from promising rookie to this year’s Rajon Rondo.
3. Ramon Sessions—from no-name to serviceable point guard.
4. David Lee—from underutilized to D’Antoni’s wet dream.
5. Rudy Gay—from loads of potential to a break out season.
6. Thaddeus Young—from late-bloomer to starting small forward.
7. Andray Blatche—from near death to a nice looking center.
8. Devin Harris—from sharing the keys to having a car of his own—even if it is a Dodge Stratus. 
9. Al Jefferson—on the Bosh track, but about a year behind.

…and the Fall

1. Shaquille O’Neal—will never, ever, understand that trade.
2. Marcus Camby—2006 Defensive POY despite playing for the 26th ranked D in the league. Something doesn’t add up.
3. Jason Kidd—which is a shame, because he seems like such a decent guy.
4. Mike Bibby—fair weather talent.
5. Allen Iverson—can still score, but it’s not the same.
6. Kenyon Martin—although his 14M-plus this year should suggest differently.
7. Steve Nash—no more Mike and not as many minutes. 
8. Andre Miller—zero chance of recreating last year. He’s the king of heightened expectations and eventual disappointment.
9. Jermaine O’Neal—hasn’t played in 70 games or average more than 10 rebounds since 2004, and this is going to get better in Toronto?

18 Biggest NBA Punch Lines

1, Dikembe Mutonbo
2. Sasha Vujcic
3. Eddy Curry
4. Chris Andersen
5. Chris Kaman
6. Stephon Marbury
7. JJ Reddick
8. Yi Jianlian
9. Quincy Douby
10. Ron Artest
11. Josh Howard
12. Von Wafer—no link. his name’s just Von Wafer.
13. Ron Artest
14. Robert Swift
15. Zaza Pachulia
16. Kwame Brown
17. Sam Cassell
18. Monta Ellis

And 18 Final NBA Predictions (10 or more correct or I challenge KG to a steal cage match)

1. Gilbert Arenas plays fewer than 30 games.
2. Shaq plays fewer than 45
3. Greg Oden plays fewer than 60
4. George Karl is the first coach fired.
5. The Heat have the biggest improvement in the win column.
6. The Warriors have the biggest "improvement" in the loss column.
7. Lebron leads the league in scoring.
8. Dwight Howard leads the league in rebounding.
9 Chris Paul leads the league in assists.
10. Rajon Rondo leads the league in steals.
11. Josh Smith leads the league in blocks
12. Rodney Stuckey wins the Sixth Man Award 
13. Rondo wins Most Improved.
14. The Heat make the Playoffs in the East.
15. The Blazers make the Playoffs in the West.
16. The Celtics win the East.
17. The Hornets win the West.
18. The Celtics win the title.