So ABC has this new primetime show call The Superstars, where a crew of superstar athletes (and Bode Miller) team up with a C-List entertainers to compete in a series beach themed-games. 

If you’re having trouble picturing it, it’s essentially the same thing they did on Mr. Carosi’s beach in Saved By The Bell, except the roll of AC Slater is being played by Jeff Kent. Awesome, right?

Anyway, after watching about 15 minutes of this mess, I got to thinking about fantastical beach competitions between some of Boston’s Best athletes. 

Here are a few: 

50-Yard Sand Dash

Rajon Rondo vs. Jacoby Ellsbury

I’m imagining Ellsbury, the officials and all the fans standing at the starting line. They’re looking around and whispering; wondering when the hell this race will finally start.

Cut to Rondo, who’s off behind the trees, kicked back in a golf cart, sipping a Red Bull and smoothly bobbing his head to his music. He looks down at his watch. It’s 1:05, and the race was supposed to start at 1. He goes back to sipping his Red Bull. 

Five minutes later, he stands up, and casually makes his way to the starting line. Without speaking or looking at anyone, Rondo takes his place next Ellsbury, puts his head down and waits for the gun.

Bang!

We’re halfway through, and Ellsbury’s got a two-step lead. He thinks he’s got it made… but… Bam! Rondo appears out of nowhere…

The Bruins may have to clear out some space at the Garden, for they have a lot of hardware coming back from Sin City following the 2009 NHL Awards.

Tim Thomas was named the Vezina Trophy Winner, recognizing him as the top netminder in the league. He also captured the William Jennings Trophy earlier in the night (along with outgoing back-up Manny Fernandez) as the goaltenders for the club finishing the regular season having surrendered the fewest goals (196).Thomas is just the second Bruins goalie in 50 years to snare the coveted Vezina, which is awarded “to the goalkeeper adjudged to be the best at his position.”

Also picking up hardware was captain Zdeno Chara, winning his first Norris Trophy, awarded "to the defense player who demonstrates throughout the season the greatest all-round ability in the position” Chara beat out six-time Norris Trophy winner Nicklas Lidstrom of the Detroit Red Wingd, and Washington Capitals defenseman Mike Green. Chara is the third different Bruin to capture the Norris, joining legends Ray Bourque who won the award five times and Bobby Orr, generally considered the greatest hockey player of all time, who won the award eight times.

Rounding out the hat-trick was Bruins coach Claude Julien, who won a well-deserved Jack Adams Award, which is awarded “to the head coach who has contributed the most to his team’s success.” In a nice touch, Julien was presented the award by former Bruins coach Pat Burns, who himself won the award on three different occasions, once with the Bruins, and prior to that with Toronto and Montreal.

The Bruins started the second season off on the right note tonight, beating the Montreal Canadiens 4-2 in Game One of their Eastern Conference Quarterfinal series. The B’s had jumped out to a 2-0 lead midway through the first period when Phil Kessel and David Krejci scored goals 90 seconds apart.

The Canadiens got on the scoreboard late in the same period when Christopher Higgins put a wrist shot by Tim Thomas, and then late in the second period the Habs tied it when Alex Kovalev took a slap shot from the right circle that Thomas AND Manny Fernandez combined would not have been able to stop.

Midway through the third period, with the game deadlocked at 2-2, the Bruins went on the power play, and with some good puck movement in the Canadiens zone, they finally worked it back to Zdeno Chara on the left point. Marc Savard fed Chara, who one-timed an absolute BOMB that Canadiens goalie Carey Price apparently didn’t see. Price clearly gave a shrug of sorts as if to say “What was THAT?” when he realized he had been scored on.

Late in the game, with Price pulled in favor of a sixth skater, the Bruins sealed the deal when Milan Lucic stole the puck, roared down the right wing, and unselfishly dished the puck to Phil Kessel, who put the puck into the empty net, giving the Bruins a 4-2 lead.

Well, if you’re a Bruins fan you can rest easy, because Boston is going to win the Stanley Cup for the first time in nearly four decades, according to EA Sports.

The Boston Bruins will win the Stanley Cup for the first time in 37 years, defeating original six rival Chicago Blackhawks in a six game series, according to the official EA SPORTS simulation of the 2009 NHL playoffs on the award-winning NHL 09 videogame.

Boston, led by shutdown defenseman Zdeno Chara, outmuscled the Blackhawks and received timely scoring from Conn Smythe Trophy winner Phil Kessel to capture its sixth Stanley Cup, and first since 1972. Kessel, playing on the Bruins top line with playoff leading scorer Marc Savard, delivered two overtime game-winners during the Finals. He finished with 14 goals in the playoffs, including five in the Finals.

Boston reached the Stanley Cup Finals with 4-2 series wins over Montreal, and Carolina, and a thrilling seven games series victory over the Washington Capitals in the Eastern Conference Finals, according to NHL 09.

The NHL 09 computerized simulation is conducted using artificial intelligence that uses real-life data from each team, such as player ratings and line combinations, and includes variances such as injuries and hot streaks to predict a realistic outcome of each game and series.

(H/T to The Sporting News)

Other links of note today:

 * The full NFL schedule will be released at 7 p.m. tonight (Boston.com)

Mohegan Sun’s Sports Tonight co-host Michael Felger caught up with the leaders of the Boston Bruins at their media day on October 3rd. Felgy talks one-on-one with owner Jeremy Jacobs, GM Peter Chiareli, legend and special assistant Cam Neely, and captain Zdeno Chara.

Be sure to check out Sean Jamieson’s NHL previews all this week.

Without Zdeno Chara and Aaron Ward, the Bruins lost to the New York Rangers yesterday 1-0 at Madison Square Garden. Playing without two of their top defensemen, the B’s did not allow a regulation or overtime goal. Boston managed to earn themselves a point in the shootout loss.

Alex Auld made his second consecutive start, making 29 saves in the game. Auld has played well replacing the struggling Tim Thomas. The Rangers’ goalie, Henrik Lundqvist made 35 saves and was perfect in the shootout. New York’s only shootout goal was provided by Nigel Dawes.

Boston gets a point but loses its spot in the standings, slipping to seventh in the Eastern Conference. The Rangers with the shootout win earn that extra point and slip ahead of the Bruins. Going into the game New York and Boston were tied for sixth, but Boston held the tie breaker by having more wins and already winning the season series.

The Bruins will be back in action Tuesday night in Ottawa, to take on the reeling Senators. Ottawa is currently fifth is the Eastern Conference and only three points ahead of the B’s. The Sens are 3-5-2 in their last ten games.