So ABC has this new primetime show call The Superstars, where a crew of superstar athletes (and Bode Miller) team up with a C-List entertainers to compete in a series beach themed-games. 

If you’re having trouble picturing it, it’s essentially the same thing they did on Mr. Carosi’s beach in Saved By The Bell, except the roll of AC Slater is being played by Jeff Kent. Awesome, right?

Anyway, after watching about 15 minutes of this mess, I got to thinking about fantastical beach competitions between some of Boston’s Best athletes. 

Here are a few: 

50-Yard Sand Dash

Rajon Rondo vs. Jacoby Ellsbury

I’m imagining Ellsbury, the officials and all the fans standing at the starting line. They’re looking around and whispering; wondering when the hell this race will finally start.

Cut to Rondo, who’s off behind the trees, kicked back in a golf cart, sipping a Red Bull and smoothly bobbing his head to his music. He looks down at his watch. It’s 1:05, and the race was supposed to start at 1. He goes back to sipping his Red Bull. 

Five minutes later, he stands up, and casually makes his way to the starting line. Without speaking or looking at anyone, Rondo takes his place next Ellsbury, puts his head down and waits for the gun.

Bang!

We’re halfway through, and Ellsbury’s got a two-step lead. He thinks he’s got it made… but… Bam! Rondo appears out of nowhere…

Ellis To Raiders Could Cause A Ripple Effect In New England?

The New England Patriots made their play for linebacker Greg Ellis after his release by the Dallas Cowboys. Their overtures were shunned in favor of a better offer when Ellis opted to sign on with the Oakland Raiders instead.   Ellis’ arrival in the Bay area could have an unexpected ripple effect, one that could still prove beneficial to New England.

The Dallas Cowboys made the only move they could when they finally released Ellis earlier this month. Although the team reportedly tried to trade Ellis, their potential partners knew Dallas wanted to unload the aging veteran, thereby virtually eliminating the need to offer compensation.  

Ellis’ contract had a $1.5 million guarantee to be paid by the Cowboys regardless of whether they released or retained the veteran. The team was able to reduce their total cap charge by making the releasing Ellis after finding no trade partners. The move saved $4.15 million in salary against Ellis’ roughly $6 million cap number.

Five teams reportedly had some interest in Ellis: The Eagles, Patriots, Bengals, Raiders, Dolphins and Panthers.  Ellis turned down a one-year $1.5 million offer from New England to sign a three-year $10 million deal with the Raiders guaranteeing him $5 million according to the Dallas Morning News.

Despite not signing Ellis, New England might still benefit from the move.  Though Oakland signed Ellis to improve their pass rush, the addition of the former sack specialist could pave the way for the possible trade of Raiders defensive end Derrick Burgess.  

Earlier this week at its spring meetings, the NFL voted to allow its teams take part in the state lottery, and surprise, surprise—according to Mike Reiss—Robert "The Chest" Kraft has wasted no time in striking a deal with the state of Massachusetts.

I assume the forthcoming line of Patriots scratch tickets will be a lot like their Red Sox and Celtics predecessors: $5 charge, a couple big winners, loads of false hope, an endless conveyer belt of shattered dreams. (Sounds great, I’ll have 10)

And like the tickets that came before them, I assume that these Patriots dealies will also include their share of non-cash prizes, you know, like "reveal a football and you win tickets to a pre-season game against the Bengals!" or "Uncover a smiley face and win a Billy Yates bobblehead!"

Stuff like that.

Along those lines, here are a few other non-cash prizes we wouldn’t mind them throwing in there:

• Reveal a microphone and you win a night’s worth of all-Jovi Karaoke with Bill Belichick! (Get a golden mic and coach will turn down the lights, fix a bubble bath and serenade you with Bed of Roses)

• Scratch off a bag of popcorn and it’s movie night with Randy Moss and Kevin Faulk! Choice are Big Lebowski, Grandma’s Boy or The Friday After Next. Ps. BYO Snacks. Pps. Randy loves funyuns.

I’m not a Patriots fan, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that fans wouldn’t be thrilled by the idea of employing Michael Vick. I know the Pats have in some ways adopting a Raider-esque persona in recent years, what with SpyGate and the acquisition of questionable characters like Corey Dillon and Randy Moss, but bringing the former owner of Bad News Kennels into the mix is a different tack altogether. If you ever wondered what might get Belichick kicked to the curb, well, I think bringing Vick aboard (and failing) would be the toxic concoction.

Mind you, The Gloom craps vanilla ice cream, so he’ll probably sign Vick and turn him into an All-Pro wide receiver or defensive back or something ridiculous, because Belichick is crafty like that.

Anyway, Peter King of Sport Illusrated says New England is among, say, five teams that might — stress, might – exhibit some interest in the newly freed dog killer.

I recall owner Bob Kraft and his wife, Myra, being up in arms about the team drafting Nebraska defensive lineman Christian Peter with his eight arrests and four convictions in Lincoln for aberrant behavior. The Patriots released him a couple of days after the draft. So that makes the Vick signing problematic and unlikely. But who knows? Maybe Bill Belichick can convince them Vick would be the kind of difference-making weapon Randy Moss was when the team got him from Oakland, even though Moss was thought to be an impossible guy to work with. There’s the Corey Dillon case, too, another example of Belichick taking a problem child and making it work for the benefit of the team.

Trent Edwards under pressure from Jarvis Green and Mike Vrabel (Getty)

The New England Patriots survived wind gusts of up to 40mph at Ralph Wilson Stadium to outlast the Buffalo Bills in a battle between running backs New England won 13-0 pitching their first shutout since 2006, 

The win puts the patriots at 11-5 on the season and one game ahead of the Dolphins and the Ravens who can still secure the final two spots in the 2008 AFC playoffs.

Now New ENgland sits in the position of playing the waiting game hoping that either Jets or the Jaguars can pull off a win to put the Patriots into the postseason.

Here are some notes from the game courtesy of the team’s media relations staff: 

PATRIOTS TIE FIFTH-HIGHEST REGULAR-SEASON VICTORY TOTAL IN FRANCHISE HISTORY
The Patriots finished the 2008 regular season with an 11-5 record, tying the fifth highest regular-season win total in the team’s 49-season history. The Patriots have finished with more than 11 regular-season wins on just four occasions - 2007 (16), 2003 (14), 2004 (14) and 2006 (12). New England also won 11 games in 1976, 1978, 1985, 1986, 1996 and 2001.

PATRIOTS RECORD FIRST SHUTOUT SINCE 2006
The Patriots shut out the Bills today, recording their first shutout since downing the Green Bay Packers 35-0 on Nov. 19, 2006. Today’s shutout was the sixth for the Patriots since Bill Belichick became head coach in 2000. New England had three shutouts in 2003, one in 2005 and one in 2006.

The Buffalo Bills hope to avoid a losing season and achieving the dubious honor of losing to the Patriots 11 times in a row — tying a Patriots franchise record.  However, the Bills are reeling after losing 3 of their last 4 and 7 of the past 9.  Head coach Dick Jauron received a contract extension in what would appear to be a vote of confidence but that hardly makes him safe for a possible year-end purge.  Bills owner Ralph Wilson has expressed a desire to see the team win in the near future as he deals with being one of the oldest owners in the league.  

At 7-9, Buffalo could salvage it’s disappointing season by finishing strong.  In order to do that, here’s what they must do against the Patriots on Sunday.

What to watch

Buffalo’s running game vs banged up defense

The Patriots will have to find a way to fight through injuries on the defensive side of the ball to contain the Buffalo Bills’ running attack.  Marshawn Lynch and Fred Jackson make for a formidable pair of runners. Although the Bills are ranked 16th overall averaging just over 112 yards per game, expect a more concerted effort to run the ball. Lynch is out, so the Bills will use Xavier Oman to spell Jackson. Richard Seymour and Tedy Bruschi are out for Sunday’s game, meaning Jarvis Green, junior Seau and Rosevelt Colvin will need to step up the run defense.  Seau and Colvin weren’t on the roster the last time these two teams met – a 20-12 Patriots win in week 10. Lynch has three 100-yard games since that loss.

It was ugly.  Ugly weather, ugly performance, at least if you were a Cardinals fan.  For Patriots fans it was a beautiful day in Foxboro.  Wind, snow, sleet, everything you could wish for as a Patriots fan in December.  New England used it’s home field advantage to dismantle an Arizona Cardinals team that looked uncomfortable the minute they stepped off the bus.

Matt Cassel continued to show why the Patriots look like Draft geniuses by selecting him in the seventh round just three short years ago. Meanwhile Cassel’s former teammate Matt Leinart did get a chance to show his skills, but it was far too little too late for the former first rounder.

New England rolled 47 - 7 to keep their playoff hopes alive.

Here are some game notes courtesy team media relations staff:

GAME NOTES
Patriots vs. Cardinals - December 21, 2008

PATRIOTS TIE TEAM RECORD FOR MOST 40-POINT GAMES IN A SEASON
The Patriots scored 47 points today, marking their fourth game this season scoring 40 or more points. New England also broke the 40-point mark against Denver on Oct. 20 (41-7), at Miami on Nov. 23 (48-28) and at Oakland on Dec. 14. New England has equaled the team record for most games scoring 40 or more points, also achieved in 2007. The Patriots have broken the 40-point mark three times in a season on three occasions (1996, 1963, 1961).