I don’t have the wherewithal to write a cohesive column during these depressing times, so I’m going to fall back on the Ross Perot format and use bullet points. Then, when that’s over, I’m going to use one of those bullets to blow my brains out.

* Yesterday on PTI, Tim Kurkjian said the last time a pitcher had won a postseason game after 16 days rest was Red Ruffing back in like 1930. Apparently no one shared that tidbit with Terry Francona.

* Wakefield flouncing on the ground and struggling to get up on that Carl Crawford dribbler basically symbolizes this Red Sox squad right now. They’re beaten down. They look old. The mind is willing, but the flesh is weak, etc.

* The next time I see Mike Timlin on the mound, he’d better be throwing out the first pitch at a Sox game next spring.

* Varitek, yeah, don’t think you’ll be getting that Posada-like four-year deal this offseason. P.S. Stop trying to hit left-handed. P.P.S. Stop trying to hit right-handed.

* Good to see Sean Casey is playing a big part in this series. Pinch-hitting in a blowout? When he’s healthy, he’s probably the second-most consistent bat (Youkilis) on the entire team. Why not put him at first base and Mark Kotsay in center? Because of defense? What defense is there against five-run deficits? I know — offense. Something we don’t get from Crisp and Ellsbury.

When the Red Sox faced the Angels at 10 p.m. EST in game one of the ALDS, I nearly set my TiVo and watched the game the next morning. The only reason I didn’t? I didn’t see any way I could wake up the next morning, watch the game AND organize The Hub without learning the outcome.

It’s one thing to turn off your phone and not watch Sportscenter or the news. It’s another thing to browse the Web, looking for stories about the Celtics, Patriots and Bruins and not come across the score of a Red Sox playoff game.

Well, for today anyway, we won’t have to deal with these playoff games that end after midnight. At least I hope we won’t.

For the first time this postseason, the Red Sox are playing an afternoon game. And personally, I love it.

I know a 4:37 p.m. start is inconvenient to some. But really, is it more inconvenient than a game that starts at 8:30 and ends after midnight?

The excitment of an afternoon playoff game is so much different too. You kind of rush around, making sure all your responsibilities are taken care of, knowing the game is fast approaching. I don’t get that sense of excitement when a game starts at 7 or 8 p.m. And I surely don’t have it when the game starts at freaking 10. Those games are like doctor’s appointments scheduled for late in the day — you know you have to go, but you’d just as soon not.

During last night’s gem-like pitching performance by Daisuke Matsuzaka, the TBS broadcasting crew shared some startling statistics about the Red Sox starter. Honestly, I thought I heard wrong about Dice-K’s batting average against in the following scenarios during the regular season:

* When he fell behind 2-0, batters ended up hitting .125

* When he fell behind 3-1, batters hit .118.

Hearing this, I made the obvious conclusion that he probably ended up walking most of those batters. Further digging at Baseball-Reference.com tells me otherwise: The 16 times he fell behind 2-0 (doesn’t that seem like a low total?), Dice-K didn’t walk a single batter all season. That’s pretty amazing. The 50 times he fell behind 3-1, he only allowed two hits — both singles — while walking the batter 32 times (and hitting one batter).

So he basically never gives in to the hitter.

All season long, people (myself included) have been knocking Dice-K about his "wildness." After all, he led the American League in walks. But what’s remarkable is that he pitches better with men on base. His BAA against with the bases empty? .225. His BAA with men on base? .193.

Here’s another stat that caught my eye: With the bases empty, batters hit .289 against Dice-K when they put the ball in play. With men on base, that average drops to .225. Is that solely the product of luck? Or is he better at keeping batters from squaring up the ball when runners are on base? (Jon Lester’s BAPIP is .298 with the bases empty; it’s .303 with runners on).

Admit it: After Torii Hunter’s two-run single to tie the game in the 8th inning, you thought the Red Sox were gonna lose that game. And after the Angels led off the 9th inning with a double, you DEFINITELY thought the Angels were going to win and that we’d face the sickening reality of a Game 5 in Anaheim, with the momentum squarely in the Angels favor.

But then a blown suicide squeeze — the 654th lapse in fundamental baseball between the two teams in this four-game series — and just like that, you KNEW the Sox were going to win. The Angels had their chance and blew it.

Frankly, I don’t fault Scioscia’s decision to try the squeeze there. I’ve always thought that play is underutilized in baseball. Perhaps they should have done a safety squeeze, but really, that’s quibbling. The fact is, Aybar has to make contact with the ball. I don’t know what his track record on bunts is, but I highly doubt Scioscia would ask him to do something uncharacteristic in that situation. Besides, the guy’s a slap-hitting shortstop. He must know how to bunt, right?

Apparently not. Or, at least not in that instance.

Man alive, that was some turn of events. And when Varitek dropped the ball, shiva h vishnu, I nearly soiled my loin cloth.

Great to win the series at home. And great for Jon Lester’s amazing start not to be wasted. But now we face the Rays, a team that has made its bones on sound, fundamental baseball this year. The Red Sox need to get sharp before the ALCS.

First, let’s summarize the things that sucked about last night’s game

1. The Sox lost

2. They lost in extra innings, so everyone’s a little tired.

Other than that, well, I’m not letting last night’s loss affect my attitude towards this series. I didn’t think it was over when the Sox won two in Anaheim (unlike Dan Shaughnessy, who was already inquiring about duck boat rentals). And I certainly wouldn’t call tonight a MUST-WIN for the Red Sox. I’d call it a game we have a great chance of winning, since we’re trotting out our ace, Jon Lester.

Let’s not kid ourselves. Did we really expect Beckett, who was scratched from Game 1 with an oblique muscle, to be lights out last night? He certainly wasn’t getting to first base like a guy who’s 100 percent healthy. I think he pitched pretty well, all things considered. He gave us a chance to win, but the bats didn’t come through with two outs, as they had in the first two games. Hey, it happens.

This wasn’t a gut-punch loss. This wasn’t Game Six of the ‘86 World Series, for chrissakes. It was a battle of attrition, and the Angels won. They expended as many arms as the Sox last night, so whichever team’s starter (Lackey or Lester) can go deeper in this game, that team will likely win.

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty confident about Jon Lester tonight. He’s 16-2 with a 3.30 ERA in his career at Fenway.

Apparently Dan Shaughnessy of the Boston Globe forgets (or chooses to ignore) that the Red Sox were once "owned" in the postseason by a certain California team. Shaughnessy, who apparently wasn’t watching the same series as me the last few nights, seems to think the Red Sox have been running the Angels out of Anaheim. Moreover, he thinks this domination is somehow related to Dave Henderson, Donnie Moore and Jarrod Washburn.

Sure, the Red Sox have beaten the Angels in 11 straight games, a postseason record. But as far as I’m concerned, the Red Sox have a two-game winning streak against the Halos. Who gives a crap about 1986? And how does the outcome of the 2004 ALDS have anything to do with this year’s team? It doesn’t. So why the hell do columnists INSIST that it does? That somehow the Red Sox’ win over the Angels last night, a 7-5 nailbiter, indicates that Boston "owns" the Angels?

Jesus, that’s the kind of crap you hear from 6th-grade trash talkers.

Here are the most asinine excerpts from Shaughnessy’s column in today’s Globe:

 The best-of-five series moves to Fenway tomorrow, and the Sox should be drenched in champagne well before midnight.

Because the Angels are going to roll over, just like they did last night, when they came back from four runs down and tied the game.

When the Red Sox play the Angels in October, the Sox take a choke hold on the series. The Angels just take the choke. Eleven in a row. Eleven.